With the Olympics canceled, here’s a ‘Jersey’ version
With the 2020 summer Olympics postponed due to the coronavirus, I was thinking what the events would be if we were to hold our own version in New Jersey. I'm thinking "bird-flipping," with points for style and expression — and no I'm not talking about an actual bird.
How about "Seagull chasing?" There, I'm talking about an actual annoying bird along the lines of pigeon and turkey vulture. But if we were to have a "Jersey" Olympics to get us through the games we would be missing, here are some event suggestions, with my own thoughts on their ideas.
Justin Morris: "Making gravy."
Notice he said GRAVY and not sauce with style points for meatballs, sausage and braciola.
Philly Bob Squires: "Cat-box cleaning."
Wasn't that a Ted Nugent song?
Steven Keller: "Strip Solitaire."
The game where you can beat yourself.
Wayne Sweeney: "Bedroom Gymnastics, couples competition."
Where you advance from "Strip Solitaire?"
Chrissy Biglin Harris: "Sleeping lol."
Usually after "Bedroom Gymnastics," guys first.
Francie Trout: "Playing ball or frisbee in the yard with your dog."
Bet the dog, give the points.
Cindy Zwicker: "Closet cleaning."
There should be trophies awarded in this competition, probably found in the back of the closet.
John Kensil: "The slamming of the horn the second the light turns green."
I see a big clock at the light.
Vini Lopez: "The freestyle 12 oz curl games!"
The event that will have you foaming at the mouth.
Heatherina Mrohrski: "Day drinking."
In the same division as the 12-oz. curl.
Carolyn Dee: "Naked Twister."
Careful what you wish for.
Carlo Bellario: "Pork roll ring toss."
Or "Taylor Ham" ring toss, whichever you prefer.
Laura Marino-Cole: "U-turn races!"
I think we called that "running bases" back in the day.