Over the past week, I’ve been to the movies three times. I’ve seen Jumanji: The Next Level, The Gentlemen, and Gone With The Wind. Luckily, two out of the three times I had pleasant experiences. However, while seeing The Gentlemen I had a few fine fellows sitting next to me that drove me insane periodically throughout the film. Yes, “fine fellows” was supposed to be extremely sarcastic. The only good thing about my annoyance is that I can use it to write a how-to not be a jerk at the movies article.

You’re welcome.

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  • 1

    Accuse someone of stealing your cigarettes.

    If you want to make a bad impression on your fellow theatergoers, when you get back to your seat after grabbing snacks accuse them of having your cigarettes. Yup, this happened to me this weekend. I was sitting there waiting for the movie to start when the guy who was sitting next to me came back and asked me multiple times if I had his cigarettes.

  • 2

    Complain that you don’t like the movie.

    I legitimately do not care if you don’t like the movie I am currently sitting there and enjoying. Keep your opinions to yourself, you shouldn’t be talking anyway. If you don’t like it that much you can leave, I would prefer it.

  • 3

    Fall asleep and snore loudly.

    Your friends should have woken you up. If you’re tired, a dark movie theater is probably not the right place for you to be.

  • 4

    Dip and spit.

    I love the smell of popcorn at the movies. Do you know what smell I don’t like? The smell of your dip cup of the last thing I want to smell while enjoying the movie. It was terrible.

  • 5

    Explain to your friends (loudly) that you don’t understand the actors’ accents.

    If you go to a movie with a cast that is mostly British, you should expect accents. Please don’t keep complaining about it.