Some of my female co-workers were talking about the upcoming Barbie movie - a real-life movie based on the iconic doll. It's coming out this summer and features Barbie, Ken, and their plastic friends, living in a plastic town.

The girls were trying to decide "which Barbie they were."

(How about "Shut up and get back to work Barbie")

(I kid because I love.)

You know there have been literally dozens or hundreds, or thousands of Babies through the years: Astronaut Barbie, Pilot Barbie, Barbie Dreamhouse, Bathing Suit Barbie, Talking Barbie, Malibu Barbie.....

(Hey! I have sisters!)

The Biggest Barbie Collection Auctionned At Christies
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Meanwhile, there was, like, one Ken.

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All this Barbie talk got me thinking - what if there was a New Jersey Barbie? What would she be like?

I quickly realized, that one Jersey Barbie just wouldn't do. Nope, we'd need a North Jersey Barbie, a South Jersey Barbie, and a Central Jersey Barbie. (Although, many would argue there would be no need for the latter since Central Jersey doesn't exist.)

Holiday Toy Shopping
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Anyway, three distinctive Barbies. Check these out:

North Jersey Barbie:

She's got the big hair (even in 2023), the "Joisey" accent, and her Ken is probably "connected."  North Jersey Barbie loves New York, Bruce Springsteen, and might be a little stuck up. She identifies with her exit and is definitely Italian.

Mattel Inc. Shows Barbies In Fashion AT Toy Show
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Central Jersey Barbie:

She either hangs out or works in a diner. Snookie is her personal hero. She only shops at the mall. Central Jersey Barbie is somewhat of a pizza expert. Her Ken is in a band.

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South Jersey Barbie:

She's a little backwoods. She might even be a Piney. She loves Morgan Wallen. Philadelphia is her city, and Wawa is her place. She loves pork roll, and she loves crabs. Her Ken is a lifeguard.

So, how did we do? Let us know in the comments.

The Biggest Barbie Collection Auctioned At Christies
Getty Images


Check out the new trailer for the Barbie movie:

If anyone needs me, I'll be hanging out in the Barbie Dream Camper.

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